Patrick MacFarlane

Corrupt a wish!

602 posts in this topic

Granted, but the robot has a lag time of 2 years so you have to be patient and have incredible foresight.

I wish Winds of Winter was released tomorrow

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Granted but it's released in an ancient language that nobody can ever decipher.

I wish i had a pink elephant and a large enough room in which it can fit.

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Granted, but you're financially crushed when the power bill comes in (isn't cheap to make a room like that temperate).

I wish I knew Spanish fluently.

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Granted, but nobody expects the Spanish inquisition... and let's just say it didn't end well for you.

I wish i had a pet bear, i could ride bare-chested.

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Granted, but you're chest is covered in honey so the bear eats you.

I wish i were a baker.

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Granted, but you accidentally baked little billy who was playing hide and seek. Don't worry he made it out alive but your baking days are over!

I wish for a wish that could never be corrupted! A beautiful blue bike i could ride around in the countryside. 

 

- Have i broken it?

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Granted, but your un-corruptable wish of a beautiful blue bike that you could ride around in the country side corrupts the fabric of time and space destroying the universe.

I wish I had control of time.

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Granted, but as soon as you do their is an immediate US-led uprising that topples you and you are subjected to all kinds of sadistic torture invented by the American Government/Security forces, for the rest of your long (they have a 24/7 state of the art hospital built just for you) life. I hope you enjoy being water boarded constantly, anally hydrated, sleep deprived, extremely/extremely humiliated, placed in a coffin for days on end with insects poured over you etc

I wish had a red bike this time :P 

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Granted, but the very existence of that gold leads to your immense misery and eventual insanity.

I wish i could travel through time, easily, without altering the future if i so desired.

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Granted, but you can only stay in the past for 1 minute before a time paradox kills you slowly and painfully.

I wish the Roman Empire never fell

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Granted, but that is only true in another dimension were our planet became filled with homosexuality and bestiality for a brief time before being destroyed by a pulsar.

I wish i had some lemons, to make lemonade. 

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granted, but they lemons are rotten.

I wish I had some peppers to throw in my teriyaki sauce.

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Granted, but then you are invaded by Mexico for stealing their peppers.

I wish i secretly had a jar of Lee's teriyaki sauce, including, the stolen Mexican peppers.

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Granted, but Mexico poisoned it with ricin and anthrax killing you in a slow but extremely painful manner.

I wished I had a F-22 Raptor that i could use to fly from Americas to Europe.

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Granted, but Russian spies hastily sabotaged your plane causing it to blow up minutes before it was due to take off. You were very horrifically wounded in the attack and you die an as-of-yet unimaginably excruciating and painfully slow death, as you were being rushed to hospital amidst the confusion of WW3, that started as a result of a dispute between NATO and Russia over Ukraine.

I wish i had the ability to influence geopolitics as i see fit, simply by thinking about it.

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