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Granted but it's released in an ancient language that nobody can ever decipher.

I wish i had a pink elephant and a large enough room in which it can fit.

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Granted, but nobody expects the Spanish inquisition... and let's just say it didn't end well for you.

I wish i had a pet bear, i could ride bare-chested.

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Granted, but you accidentally baked little billy who was playing hide and seek. Don't worry he made it out alive but your baking days are over!

I wish for a wish that could never be corrupted! A beautiful blue bike i could ride around in the countryside. 

 

- Have i broken it?

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Granted, but as soon as you do their is an immediate US-led uprising that topples you and you are subjected to all kinds of sadistic torture invented by the American Government/Security forces, for the rest of your long (they have a 24/7 state of the art hospital built just for you) life. I hope you enjoy being water boarded constantly, anally hydrated, sleep deprived, extremely/extremely humiliated, placed in a coffin for days on end with insects poured over you etc

I wish had a red bike this time :P 

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Granted, but the very existence of that gold leads to your immense misery and eventual insanity.

I wish i could travel through time, easily, without altering the future if i so desired.

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Granted, but that is only true in another dimension were our planet became filled with homosexuality and bestiality for a brief time before being destroyed by a pulsar.

I wish i had some lemons, to make lemonade. 

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Granted, but then you are invaded by Mexico for stealing their peppers.

I wish i secretly had a jar of Lee's teriyaki sauce, including, the stolen Mexican peppers.

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Granted, but Russian spies hastily sabotaged your plane causing it to blow up minutes before it was due to take off. You were very horrifically wounded in the attack and you die an as-of-yet unimaginably excruciating and painfully slow death, as you were being rushed to hospital amidst the confusion of WW3, that started as a result of a dispute between NATO and Russia over Ukraine.

I wish i had the ability to influence geopolitics as i see fit, simply by thinking about it.

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