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Lmao, ok I will ruin both of your wishes then. 

Robert, your hearing becomes too great, and all of the noises around you are so loud that you can't decipher what anything is.

Awe, you become an assassin, but you are the Assassin from Assassins Creed that jumps into a Wagon of Hay and breaks his leg, and you must become a Skyrim Guard for the rest of you life, complaining about how you used to be an assassin. 

I wish I could be so fancy.

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Robert E Lee    451

Infectious diseases, w.e.

Granted, but you become too good at math, and figure out when the apocalypse is going to happen so you kill yourself so you don't have to tell anyone.

I wish my pink pens were all black ink. 

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(lol, but I already committed suicide, muahaha.)

Granted, but in return you get sent to jail for physical harassment and get slapped by all of the other inmates. 

I wish I could be invincible. 

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